Figure out

It's been a long time since I wrote my last blog....I keep reading the 5 A Zhong class magazine for these few days because I really miss my days in high school. I look the comments and my heart just aches because I really miss my friends in high school. Although high school life is very stressful, but you somehow feel very warm there. Really miss the days where you can turn 360 degrees or just run across your sit to chat with your friends. I've been figuring that day is that why keep blaming others for disliking you, why keep blaming saying that one can't fit in. I think one should ask oneself is that because of oneself attitude problem. As I was thinking, I figure out that I fit that criteria. I know I have attitude problem, I like to put up a face that shows others that I'm very bored, egoistic, self-centered and rude. I realize that sometimes when people talk to me, I give them a can you shut up look. I feel really really guilty and I wanna take this opportunity to apologize. I'll try my best to change and be a nicer person. Erm.... I wanna say to my college friends is that I hope when you guys see my blog then you'll understand and I really hope you guys will give some time to go through this transitional period, as I'm still struggling to adapt to this new environment and I can't let go days without my high school friends. Just give me a little bit more time and I'll try my best to change.
The second thing is that I got rejected from the Christmas play. I never thought that I will fail...This feeling is so bad, wanted to cry when they say that out. I've put in so much effort, I think that I've gave my best and their comments were good but I just don't understand why. I really wanted to participate in this play so badly because through doing the things that I like, I won't have the time to think negatively and I can keep my spirits high. Is like you finally find the thing to keep you going on, and now I lose it...life gets boring again.Lets not talk about the sad thing...yeap, I can't wait for the holidays to come. I really wanna take this opportunity to catch up with my high school and church friends. You guys are the most awesome people I have ever met :)